As our modern times become ever-more chaotic, the fear of loneliness and uncertainty becomes an increasingly prominent feature in our life. Moral certainties have turned into lines drawn in the sand, constantly washed away by the waves of individualism, clearing the slate for us to write and rewrite our own narratives.
Nietzsche forecasted the death of God, the superiority of the church eroded, neighbourhoods turned into sterile suburban refuges, and the nuclear family gave way to plethora of novel household possibilities. We are now free from Rousseau’s chains of tradition. We are born free and we will live free.
No longer dominated by the church, we are free to further science. No longer confined to a traditional family, we are free to form households that better fit with our unique desires. Free from moral certitudes, our desires burst into infinity. We explore the dark corners of our subjectivity, experiment with our bodies, and seek self-identity in a multitude fleeting social groups.
Life has exploded with complexity, yet, our fundamental desire remains the same; we just want to be happy. But now, more than ever, happiness does not bring certainty, just as certainty does not bring happiness.
We have become artists of our own lines in the sand. Amidst the tides of modernity, we are tasked with redrawing ourselves again and again, but we need to remember that we can’t do it alone.
As the late Marina Keegan describes this in her book The Opposite of Loneliness, “It’s not quite love and it’s not quite community; it’s just this feeling that there are people, an abundance of people, who are in this together. Who are on your team… Yale is full of tiny circles we pull around ourselves. A cappella groups, sports teams, houses, societies, clubs. These tiny groups that make us feel loved and safe and part of something even on our loneliest nights when we stumble home to our computers – partnerless, tired, awake.”
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Thanks, great insight on our modern plight.
Bravo. Do you think that only small communities such as you described are the only answer to the complex issues you’ve touched on or can we find similar help within larger communities?
I think both. Although there is a trend toward small communities and flexible networks, many individuals still find a strong sense of community in traditional institutions such as the church and the military.
Reblogged this on crowdCONNX and commented:
Beautifully drawn sense of futility at the idea of happiness yet offers some hope within small communities. Bravo.
Yet so many people flee their freedom and subject themselves to the wills of more powerful individuals. The more things change, the more they stay the same
Exactly.. “Escape from freedom” by Erich Fromm is a good book on this phenomenon.
I know. I have it lying around somewhere
Barbara Kingsolver, in “Pigs In Heaven,” nicely contrasts the Cherokee community, despite its poverty, with the world around it. The one has the sense of community, the other lacks it. The one is much happier than the other.
Well put. I’d like to offer that it’s not just people. Look at people and their pets. Or those, like me, who look to nature for a sense of belonging and meaningfulness. Nature costs nothing and is available to rich and poor alike.
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A very enjoyable read, thank you.